I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize