she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude i'm inner monologue high
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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