Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We're too hungover to prance.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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