I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
