worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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