do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
