if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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