I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
