They should really pass out barf bags in church
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How's work?
Spinning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
