Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
is that a dick in a sweater?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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