dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
