wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
