Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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