Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just gargled with NyQuil
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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