My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
