rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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