that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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