i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
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