if i died would you start the facebook group?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
