If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
