so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have aggressive nipples.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
