that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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