Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How does it feel to date your dad?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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