love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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