I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
