Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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