i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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