Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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