Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
