My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize