I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
