I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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