I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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