Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
