He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize