Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
