Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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