my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think people are normalizing furries
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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