WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
