Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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