wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize