After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
