so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
