i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize