The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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