You can't motorboat a personality
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
