Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
