My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
