At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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