My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
