I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
