Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
