Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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