Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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