Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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