my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
