I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
