We won't sleep together?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
as a side note pls kill me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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