The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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